No, I don’t mean the kind where you can tell someone is defensive when they cross their arms.
What I mean is really looking inside yourself and seeing what your body is (or has been) trying to tell you.
Two authors (other than me..ha ha) you really should read are Gabor Mate and Bessel van der Kolk. They are both the go-to experts on how many illnesses are caused by the suppression of emotions.
This is also what a major portion of my new book, “From Tipping Point to Turning Point” is about.
I’m also working on another book which involves even deeper personal discoveries. I’ve been “researching” this – going back to try to excavate my memory, looking at my brother’s and my baby books, trying to find high school yearbooks, etc. – for a few weeks now.
As you will find out in “Tipping Point…” my childhood contained some significant experiences that weren’t, shall we say, pleasant.
I really only remember 18 things from that period. I’m trying to increase that number as I said but that’s a major archaeological dig.
What has happened though, is that my brain has turned on its “survival at all costs” mode and has definitely let me know it doesn’t want me going on this “dig”. There is stuff back there that it doesn’t want me to discover.
How do I know that? Because for the past few weeks and especially last week, I’ve been fighting unremitting fatigue (so tired, i couldn’t work on the book – imagine that), and then other systemic symptoms – so much so that it prompted me to go to the doctor (so you know i had to be worried).
When I decreased the work on that book and my brain was able to distract me with the physical symptoms as well as other “interests” (all meant solely for distraction), my symptoms improved. I was able to recognize what was happening and calmed my brain with very simple measures (breathing, singing safety, reciting safety, somatic tracking, etc.). A year ago, perhaps, I wouldn’t have been able to do that and I am sure my symptoms would have progressed.
Another example is a lesion I had on my neck earlier in the summer or late spring. I finally went to the dermatologist and lo and behold it was squamous cell carcinoma. Why now at age 74? My theory is that I have been delving into my soul and my emotions for over a year now and in so doing, I have purged a lot of the hidden fear, anger and even resentment. So, it came to the surface – just as my work had brought the emotions to the surface. Voila – there was a skin cancer – the body was trying to express the “bad stuff” and that’s what happened.
If you read my book, you’ll see so many more examples of this but simply knowing that your body will let you know that you have emotional issues to address can make you more aware and maybe even prevent more serious complications if you can take action.
Daily Gratitude: What’s going through your mind right now? Stop and identify those thoughts. Now think how can you change them. Because you can change your thoughts. And you can do it in a split second – once you decide to change them. If you’re feeling tired, can you just think something like “this is just a feeling. I have much more energy than I think I do!” I’m not telling you to change that thought immediately into “wow I feel so energized I could run a marathon”. If you can do that big a change, great! But most of us have to start small and that’s ok. Remember that tiny acorn and what it becomes. You can become that mighty oak tree too. Start small and be consistent. What’s one thought you can use to replace any less than desirable one today? You can use that technique too in case you don’t want to reframe all the thoughts that are less than fulfilling. Come up with several replacements and write them down or put them on your phone. Then use them. See if anything happens.
