Daily Gratitude: One 2 minute interaction taught me more about communication than I’d learned in school. When I say the word “iris” what do you think of? What pops into my mind immediately is that part of the eye called the iris. This is understandable since I’m in medicine. But there were two other people in this “iris” conversation. One thought we were discussing flowers and the other was convinced the discussion was about some computer system. None of us had bothered to define the term we were considering so the other two were left staring blankly. This was the best example of not knowing what playing field the other person is on. In your daily conversations whether they are big or small, important or not important, make sure you define the topic you want to be discussing. Give the other person the best chance to understand and learn from you, rather than giving you that “deer in the headlights” look. When engaging with another person picture an iris and that will remind you to make sure your definitions are understood by the other.

Daily Gratitude: How true this is. We applaud all those people who do something big that others can readily see. We proclaim them to be heroes. Why don’t we do the same for the single parent working 2 jobs and going to school so they can create a better life for their kids? Why don’t we deem people to be heroes when they are in a daily war against some chronic but invisible disease/condition such as chronic pain? We give shout outs to those with cancer for bravely trying to ward off the disease (and I’m all for that but there are others working just as hard) but not to the person who has become suicidal because they feel so alone – no one wants to hear about their daily struggles and they know it’s not going to end. The invisible nature of many chronic conditions keeps those people isolated and scared. They should be the ones we tout as courageous. Is this you? Is it someone you know? How can you celebrate their courage? How can others celebrate your courage? Take some time to think about the people you know. Do you really know them?

Daily Gratitude: This is such a valuable concept for each of us to grasp onto at this time in our lives. Things are chaotic. Things are stressful. We don’t really know what’s going to happen at any point in time. The people we thought were our leaders and who swore to protect us and our interests have abandoned us. We could let these thoughts overwhelm us to the point where we do nothing and just watch our lives dwindle away while we complain about things. We experience anxiety and fear. In some instances that fear is warranted but in many others it’s not. Knowing that when faced with a choice of thoughts, we can pick whichever one we want should be an immense relief. Awareness that you can have opposing thoughts is the first step. It’s not all black or white. How you react or respond to something is totally up to you. Several months ago i talked about contrast and clarity. This is another place where you can use that exercise. When you find yourself feeling anxious or down, take out a piece of paper and write your thoughts. One per line. When you’ve emptied your mind, go back to each line and write the opposite thought. Don’t question whether or not you can believe that thought. Just write it down. Do that for every item on your list. When you’re done with that, look this list over. Go back and select the thoughts YOU WANT to think (you can circle the ones you want or cross out the ones you want to eliminate- pick whichever method is more symbolic to you). Then it would be good to transcribe the ones you want to think onto another page (not necessary but helps to cement the feeling). Carry this page around with you all day. Refer to it frequently, reminding yourself they you can choose different thoughts. This won’t be easy at first because you’re accustomed to thinking those other thoughts automatically so give yourself some time to practice changing your thoughts. Then your world will begin to change too and you’ll see the power of intentionally picking what you want to think about. Let us know how it works for you.