Daily Gratitude: You know how things show up in your life just when you need them? This quote is one of those times. I had just been reading a book on the brain and chronic pain and the chapter I was reading was about personality traits that seem to be consistent among people who develop chronic pain. As I delved deeper into the chapter something happened in my brain. It was as if I was a manikin loaded up with all of last year’s clothing piled on my body. There must have been some sort of shakeup because all of a sudden those old clothes began to fall off and I could see the smooth white skin of the manikin. This translates this way. It’s been a few weeks of trying to decide if I was going to go to Colorado in 2 days (that would be a little over 3 weeks since my injury). From somewhere deep within came a theoretical voice (and it might have been a real voice since my parts can get loud). This was the question I heard “what do you really want, Terrie?” And the answer came as quickly “I don’t want to go. I’m still having pain and when I up my activity just a bit, the pain increases. Plus I’m still fairly tired even though that’s getting better.” Simple, right? Not at all. So many things had been piled up on that manikin that I couldn’t see what was underneath (that I didn’t feel safe going). My parts were having a war and they didn’t invite me. However this situation has made me realize that when I think I’m just “being a Libra” by not being able to decide on something, that it means my parts are polarized (opposite points of view) and I need to pay attention. There was the “show them how strong and independent you are” part; the FOMO part that was also living in the past (“what if something is said that would help me know more about chronic pain? Last years conference was fantastic. I don’t want to miss out on anything”); the bored part (“I’m tired of waiting for this to heal. It’s better every day so maybe I can drive 1000 miles each way even though I really just have one functional arm”); I will miss seeing my friend and we’ve been planning this for months now. 96% of these things are fear or hope based without regard for how things are. I’m almost 77 years old and not a spring chicken anymore. I am a doctor and should know that there is a better chance of healing completely if I allow my body to heal the right way. I’m no longer in practice so it’s not going to hurt my patients by missing out on the conference. And I surely don’t want to create an environment for me to develop chronic pain after this heals. As far as my friend is concerned, I can go visit him another time. It was nice that he lives near Boulder and easy for us to meet but it’s not the last time I could drive up there. I’m still sad but I think all my parts have been heard (maybe not since there are so many) so my decision is made. It doesn’t feel great but it feels safer and if I feel safer then my brain will too and that will help the healing.

Daily Gratitude: I am pretty sure you’ve all heard this quote before. But the real question is “are you still trying to solve your issues with the same thinking as before”. Just because you see something either cute or profound doesn’t mean it’s automatically going to change your life. You have to work at it.

And in this case you have to become aware of a) what you’ve been thinking ; b) what the problem is that you’re trying to solve; and c) what you need to change in your thinking to solve that problem.

This takes analysis and work. And it’s not easy at all. You’re having to change your neural circuits and that takes time. But if you persist, it will definitely be worth your while.

Take my recent right shoulder injury. I have to do pretty much everything with my left hand. At first that was very cumbersome and I was clumsy. Now, though, after 3 weeks of practice, I will say I’ve become pretty good with my left hand. I had to persist because I had no other choice.

With the thinking process, you want to do the work before you HAVE to. Here’s a way to start.

List your problems.

Then pick the top 2-3. Maybe even just start with one so you don’t confused. Save the rest of the list.

Now list what your thoughts about this problem are – this may be a mixture of fact and emotion. Right now that’s ok. Just write them all down.

When you have that list somewhere outside your brain (paper or computer), go back and decide which are facts and which are emotions. Cross out the emotions. What you’re left with is the facts. You may be surprised looking at the facts without the emotional baggage attached.

The solution may just pop out at you. But it may not. Then look at all the ways this problem could be solved. No matter how ridiculous or “out there” a solution might initially sound.

Then take each solution and think about whether it is possible. If you write something like “i could rob a bank”, then I’d cross that off. Remember to just cross it off, don’t editorialize by saying “you fool that would never work. Get real”’or other negative self talk.

This is just brainstorming and nothing is a foolish idea in brainstorming. If you keep the emotion and negative self talk out of it, something might strike you as possible or plausible.

Take my situation for example. I am supposed to go to Boulder Colorado toward the end of this week – 1000 mile drive each way. Can i do it with mostly only one arm – safely and comfortably? I don’t know. Each day my right arm gets more functional. But 1000 miles is 2 days of driving (and no I’m not going to fly).

The most unique answer I came up with was: I can head on out and if it becomes too much, I can stop, rest overnight and then come home. I know you’re all thinking “that’s stupid. What a waste of money” and who knows what else. But I’ve considered all that and the money is a risk I’m willing to take because this trip is so important to me.

I’m not done coming up with ideas but if I hadn’t followed this process I’d have never even thought of this. Try it on something small if you’re hesitant. Let us know how it turned out for you.