I see people resist this all the time. They will continue to bang their head against the wall, trying in vain to change something. When one thing doesn’t work, they try another. They do this over and over again.

Why? You’d think their heads would hurt from all that banging. But you know what? It’s less painful than realizing you have to change and then trying to figure out how to change.

The universe will continue to put up these walls until you recognize there are no doors or windows and you accept that it’s time to go find a mirror. The answer will lie within that mirror.

Stop fighting and ask for guidance as to what you need to change and how. Whenever you ask for that guidance and are sincere, it will be presented to you. It’s worth it. I’ve been there.

Have you ever had the experience of being around one or more people and you’re talking about something you’ve all seen? Pretty soon, though, you start to wonder if you’d been someplace different besides there’s no way you saw what they saw.

It’s like that in everyday life too. People interpret what they see based on their past experience and their emotional state. And that most likely is different than your background.

This matters for two reasons. The first is that it will help you at least understand why someone may respond to something differently than you do.

It will also help you take some time to figure out what you are actually seeing compared to what you are looking at. This might help you gain different perspectives on what’s going on around you.

Another fun thing to do is to see what you think of something today compared to what you thought last week or year. You may not be able to do this now but try to test it from today forward. Make notes. Just see if your mood perhaps might influence what you are seeing.

I wrote about this recently but feel so strongly that I found a different quote about it.

I think I feel so strongly because it’s something I need a lot of work on. But I like the question Marcus suggests. “What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

This idea also goes along with the “pause” concept. When we start to criticize (out loud or internally) something or someone, we should pause and ask this question of ourselves. And in that time consider it deeply. Is this something you do and don’t like? Is that why you’re getting ready to dump on it (or them)? Or is it closer to another quality or trait you have?

Whatever you come up with, see if you can figure out why it’s irritating or annoying you. If you can see what’s going on inside of you, then it gives you something to work on.

Then next time you’re faced with the same situation, measure your reaction and repeat the process as often as you need to until you no longer react to those particular circumstances.