I still have some trouble with this but i have come so far via this concept.

Or perhaps that is just what I did 6 years ago when I started studying IFS (Internal Family Systems). I knew I wasn’t happy…and had never been happy but like so many, i just assumed that was part of life.

With IFS i learned to accept myself but more importantly, I began to understand why I was like that. Then I learned that I could do something about it that would actually be successful – work with my parts.

Now I guess I can accept myself as I am because I know where it all comes from. And because of that I can grow.

You have to examine yourself, your values and beliefs, your characteristics and qualities. Then you must decide what you’re happy with and what you want to change. When you really want to change, it’s like pursuing any other goal. You find a way.

Do you want to change something about your life?

I know this is one I have to work on. I think it’s human nature to assume every human thinks the same way. At least process wise and often we assume that what we like others would like.

The hotline I have has been great helping me learn how others think. People call in and listen to a different message I leave every day and they can leave comments. In the beginning I Sometimes wondered where they came up with whatever they were saying. Then I realized they were just thinking in a different way and they were hearing things different from what I meant. It was eye opening and I have learned so much from it.

It always helps if you ask someone to explain what they are thinking and how they go to that point. But do it in a nice way letting them know you’re not being accusatory. That you’re just interested.

Do that with enough people and you’ll realize that more people think differently from you than you would ever have imagined. It might help you change how you communicate and also will help you do less defensive responding.

Always ask.

Everyone knows that life isn’t all roses.  There are ups and downs of varying degrees. That is part of life and it’s not as if the universe picks you out of a lineup and decides it’s your turn to have bad things happen. 

That’s the first job we have when things seem a bit bleak.  We can have the infamous pity party that I recommend. But remember that you have to put parameters on that party. Give it a time limit and a list of invitees. You don’t need to show the whole world what a sour mood you’re in.  

Once the designated time limit is up, stop pitying yourself. It’s time to move on.  

Next pull up your boot strings and make the statement in this quote. Own up to having the problem even if you didn’t ask for it. And tell yourself (and the whole world if you’d like), that you can face it and you will.  

This takes courage but Standing up to adversity will let the universe know you’re willing to face this and it will infuse you with courage. 

You will be surprised at how you become able to face this trouble once you take a stand that you will face it.  Don’t back down.  Listen to Tom Perry’s “I won’t back down” on YouTube for inspiration.