I think this was Dolly’s secret to success in all aspects of her life. Even early on she recognized that she was being held back on the Porter Wagoner show. She also knew that she had to be careful about how she made her exit. Sure, it was different back then because she was a woman. But she also could have stayed.

Porter initiated a lawsuit but eventually Dolly was able to leave. Despite all the hassle he caused her, she wrote “I’ll always love you” to show him how important he was to her and what he meant to her. It’s hard for someone to be angry with if you’ve written such a beautiful song. She was putting him first and telling the world how important he was.

She has done this all her life. She never demanded that people tell her she’s great or that they are so grateful. Many of her humanitarian acts weren’t even that well known or advertised. And she did it all quietly and personally – the personal aspect is key, I think.

For instance, her imagination library sends books directly to the children, not to the town or some organization. When she was helping flood victims she sent money to each family, not to a big pot where who knows what could happen in the distribution. All the stories told about her by people show that the memories are memorable because of the one on one interaction.

Listen to her songs too. Most of them make another be the important character. For instance you could think of Coat of Many Colors as a poor me type song or about bullies. But it’s about her mother and what she made for Dolly AND what she taught Dolly. Look at the lyrics for Joshua and you’ll see her wanting to give to another human the love and kindness she has (and also wants).

Even when Barbara Walters and Oprah tried to shoot her down in their interviews she just responded nicely, standing up for herself with both facts and jokes but never shooting back which most of us would want to do.

What a lesson in living this woman gave us.