This is different way to tell us to learn from our mistakes.

But it’s an important lesson and one I think takes us a long time to do. We tend to hide our heads in the sand and mourn whatever we’ve lost instead of sitting with the issue and evaluating what went wrong and what you can do differently in the future.

I Always say that it’s ok to have a pity party but that it should be defined and limited. Make it an hour, a day, or maybe a week and then stick to it.

Once the time is up, snap out of it, look at what happened and do it objectively. Don’t get stuck in any blame game and keep your fingers to yourself (no finger pointing). The point is to figure out how to keep it from happening again.

Analysis and then action are key here. Once you discover your responsibility- you know there has to be some responsibility on both sides. It may be small but it’s there – it’s time to decide what you want to change. Notice I didn’t say “need” to change. You may not need to change anything. But there may be some pattern of behavior you see and decide you could be better suited with a different outlook and attitude.

That’s growth. And that’s what we’re after.