You have to decide if something that’s going on in your life can be changed. You have to find out what’s really going on, how and why it happened, and whether or not you think you can do something about it. You may have to try various things before you know if it can be changed or not. It’s a process that requires logic and reasoning (and we all know how much I do that- NOT). You can combine some emotion but logic has to prevail.

On the other hand, if you don’t know that there’s a problem or issue, then you can’t do anything about it – you can’t face it.

This is why it’s so important when you’re examining your life and life around you, you must start with yourself. I had a lot of problems with relationships and knew I must have messed them up but I didn’t know how or how to fix it. I was looking outside myself even with the help of therapists. It took IFS and its basic concepts of all things beginning inside of you for me to understand and take action – on myself. At that point things could be changed because I faced them.

It’s a hard reality but it’s essential for growth.