Here’s a quote from Epictetus. It’s long and i’ll repeat it but it’s important

“Whatever happens to you, remember to look inside yourself and see what capacity you have to enable you to deal with it.

If hard work lies in store for you, you’ll find endurance; if you are insulted, you’ll find patience.

If you get in the habit of responding this way, you won’t get swept away by your impressions of things.  “

Let me say it again:

“Whatever happens to you, remember to look inside yourself and see what capacity you have to enable you to deal with it.

If hard work lies in store for you, you’ll find endurance; if you are insulted, you’ll find patience.

If you get in the habit of responding this way, you won’t get swept away by your impressions of things.  “

i think we spend too much time looking to the outside world to find out what happened and who to blame.

I also feel you’re never going to find it or them. You may think you do but in order to find out what’s going on, you need to look inside yourself.

This is just another variation of control the controllables but this quote is also telling you that you do have many more talents – or capacities – than you think you do. 

As he said, if you have a lot of hard work to do, once you take the time to search within, you will find the endurance,  same with being insulted. Look inside and patience will become apparent.

Don’t get me wrong though, this isn’t going to happen overnight. It’s going to take perseverance to look for these capacities or qualities. They may be covered by many layers of dirt and garbage – all the stuff you’ve picked up since your chilhood. 

Just know that you can find whatever you need to take care of what’s affecting you. Concentrate only on the parts you can do something about.

List some of the circumstances or events happening in your life that you have to deal with right now.

Make a list of the qualities or characteristics you feel you need to deal with those things right now. Think of what virtues would be helpful too 

Search in your past to find examples of when you’ve come up against something similar. 

What was your reaction then? 

Was it useful, not useful?

Could it be more refined?

Or maybe back then you couldn’t dig out the right quality at that time. 

Now ask what has changed inside of you since then?

Maybe there’s been some excavation projections in the interim and it will be easier to find  what you’re looking for. 

Take some time and go deep within if you find yourself having trouble locating, for instance, the endurance. You have at least some endurance and like everything else in life, you have to work to build that muscle.

Keeping yourself focused on what you can control (meaning yourself) will make the process simpler.

Everything you need is within you. Never forget that.