I have been having way too many headaches lately and they aren’t relieved by my migraine medicine. Inherently i know they are due to the deep emotional issues that are hidden in my soul.

Do I know how to get to them? No. I would love to get to the bottom of the abyss so that I could eliminate these headaches. But, alas, I know they are there for a reason and I have to chip away at the wall gradually.

What’s interesting, though, is that living in my head is like playing Whac-A-Mole. My medical mind keeps throwing up an idea as to what’s behind these continual headaches – let’s see “maybe it’s all the trigger points I have”; “maybe it’s my diet”; “maybe it’s too much salt”; maybe this, maybe that. I have to sit there and knock each one away repeatedly telling myself to stop it, that these are just camouflage uniforms trying to distract me from the deepest issues.

It is discouraging, though, because no matter how hard I’m trying, I don’t seem to get anywhere and my headaches continue.

Now that I have recognized that this is what I do, i seem to do it in all areas of my life. “What is that person thinking of me? What is it they really want? What did I do wrong? etc.”

I know that it’s my parts (IFS/internal family systems) all competing for attention but it’s like a big arena where people are throwing balls back and forth to each other and against the walls. All these thoughts and ideas are continually bouncing around inside my skull. No wonder it hurts. It’s my job to realize this and calm each part recognizing that all parts are welcome and all are doing what they are supposed to do – protect me. I can’t be upset with the parts because they are necessary for my existence until I get to the heart of everything and each protective part can find a new and more useful role. It will take time and it’s important not to rush the process.