I have never been fond of making resolutions but didn’t really know why. The more I’ve studied mental discipline, though, I began to understand my discomfort better.

I recommend against making resolutions and transforming the things you’re not satisfied with into goals instead.

Here’s the definitions:

Resolution: “a promise to yourself to do or to not do something”

Goal: “the result or achievement toward which effort is directed”

What happens if you don’t keep a resolution? It’s as if you’re “breaking a promise”. What does that do to you emotionally? Nothing good. Since we often use resolutions to try to correct things we don’t like about ourelve (losing weight, making weak muscles strong, spending less money, etc.), this promise breaking can simply add to the bad feelings we have about ourselves. Our self-confidence takes another hit. How successful has that been in the past? Most of us have had enough degradation of our self-confidence in these areas that failing this time is simply hammering another nail in the coffin.

Goals, on the other hand, can always be revised. Let’s say you “resolve” to lose 30 pounds. That is way too open ended and the first time you have an office party or a dinner out or something that happens in all of our lives, you’ll begin to feel that the resolution can’t ever be kept. So, the next time you’re tempted, you think about your resolution to lose 30 pounds and think of it as overwhelming and you rapidly abandon it. You’ve now broken a promise to yourself. That is why the gyms are filled to the brim for the first 2-3 weeks of the year and then drop back to where they were before. That kind of resolution is too broad and doesn’t give your brain much to deal with as far as visualizing.

If you set a goal (properly) to lose 30 pounds it will be more specific. You’ve all heard about SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely) and you can Google that. To me, the most important part is the specific aspect. When do you think you can lose 30 pounds by? What do you base that on? Have you done that before? Is that going to be sustainable? Why would you want to take off 30 pounds and then put it back on which is what happens if this loss is done without consideration of your lifestyle.

But another aspect of goal achievement is constant review or at least periodic review. Let’s say you thought you could lose 30 pounds in a month because of all the TV ads that imply that’s easy. After 3-4 weeks, you realize that is unrealistic and although you’ve done well at revising your lifestyle and food intake, you’re not going to make it to the 30 pounds. But since what you’re doing IS working and has been easy to live with, you look at what you’ve done and then figure out when you can expect to have taken off the full 30 pounds. Or maybe you realize you don’t need to lose 30 but 20 would make you healthier and happier.

Review and revision is key. It allows you to eventually achieve your desired end point. Goals allow for that. Resolutions are, to me, a dead end.

I feel resolutions are too negative whereas goals instill the “I can do it” feeling. Achieving what you want depends so much on your feelings (your passion, not a “I don’t feel like it” feeling). Wouldn’t a positive framework do more to keep the flame of desire fanned?

Just my ramblings and thoughts.