Maybe I’m just a slow learner but things are coming to me in old age that I have been trying to learn and understand for decades…lol

My mother always told me not to worry. My father, however, was an expert worry-wart. I inherited his “worry DNA”.

But, for some reason, much has become clear to me in the past month or so. Maybe it’s having to be off my foot and what that has symbolized.

I think I am learning NOT to worry. I am amazed so I don’t want to make any official press releases to that effect yet. Ha!

It really doesn’t do any good to worry. But, I think it’s a control thing. We feel that if we worry about something, we are exerting some sort of control over our fate and the “thing’s” outcome. Many of us, including myself, have hung on to that belief for so long. When control is taken away from us, we think it’s the most horrible fate in the world. But it’s actually freeing. Let me give you an example.

Anyone who has followed me for 4 years knows how much I have hated (which really means been extremely frightened of) the dentist. My dental state can testify to that. Of course, it shouldn’t be a surprise because until I got so sick in 2017, i didn’t think enough of myself and my body to take care of anything. The “invulnerability” syndrome of a person’s 20s persisted in me until 2016.

Anyway, I have had to have a lot of dental work as a result. Since before Vol State this year, I have had a problematic tooth that has consistently, but intermittently reminded me of its presence. So, last week i decided it might be time for something else to be done (it already had a filling, so “something else” equals a root canal.

I made the appointment for today. I wasn’t afraid to do that. First surprise.

I have not worried about it at all – no catastrophizing, no “what if”, no “it’s going to hurt so much”, nothing.

I showed up today and this guy whom I just adore anyway (Advanced Smile Care is the best) told me since the max pain was 1-2 i didn’t need the root canal right now. I could wait until it got worse.

When I left, i realized how much time out of my life would have been wasted had i spent that time worrying about this whole thing. What a freeing and relaxing feeling.

When you realize you don’t have the “power” you think you have (meaning you think you can control the outcome of pretty much anything, vice controlling the process or effort you put into it), you feel so much better and have time to just enjoy being alive.

Remember to use the mantra I do – “Everything always works out for me!”