This is a very meaningful week for me. Today is the one year anniversary of my brother’s death and in two days it will be the one year anniversary of my best friend and mentor’s death.

What, exactly, does that mean? It means different things to each of us. Should it mean more? I don’t know. I just know that it’s hard for me to memorialize these two people’s passing once a year. I’ve given this a lot of thought, but not enough.

I know that if I want to keep them first and foremost in my mind, I have to do something that reminds me of them every day so that they aren’t relegated to the back of the closet like my old work clothes that i no longer wear since I’m retired. They need to be under the chair in my bathroom where my running shoes are as I see and wear them every day.

And these things, whatever they turn out to be, must be small. It’s only when you start with small things, that they become a habit and will stick. If one decides on some major undertaking to keep someone’s memory alive, they will fail unless it’s broken into a series of small steps. Even those who have created some organization or cause in honor of their loved ones, conceived of the idea but implemented that idea in small steps.

I know that I write in a gratitude journal every day so to add two specific gratitudes each day will not require much effort on my part – this is called “habit stacking” (James Clear in Atomic Habits) and increases the probability of success exponentially.

For now at least, I am going to add one gratitude for my brother and one for my mentor every day. This will keep memories of them and how they impacted me alive. It will be a gratitude for something we did, something they did or said and how it impacted me.

Can you imagine what a year of those gratitudes and memories will do to keep them forefront in my mind?

What do you or can you do every day (or once a week even) to keep someone’s memory right there in the place of honor in your mind, scattering all the clutter that has previously been in its way? Share what you do to keep them alive.

Oh and it’s the Ides of March too.